Where did she go?

Sometimes in life you have to listen to your surroundings.  You may not want to, you may try to close the door, lean against it and cry out "I DON'T WANNA" like a child in order to lock out the rest of the world.  There are times in life when you just can't do that.

I'm knee deep in one of those times right now. 

My father is ill. Not to mince words, this is the kind of ill you don't recover from.  This is not new information, but here lately every week there is something new to worry about.  I have to do this from 650 miles away.  The stress is showing it's signs - take for example 3 root canals in 8 days you may have read about.

I want to learn the bagpipes.  I truly do.  I also don't want to disappoint - myself, the people I've talked to about this journey or any of you.  But right now, I don't think is the right time for me to do this.  I find so much joy in the concept of the pipes and the vision of seeing me out in a field.  Today as I packed up my things at work after an arduous day, I heard myself say, "I have to go to class tonight", not "I WANT to go to class tonight".  Why do I have to go to class?  Because I committed to, not because I've improved a stitch since the last class. I've gotten a number of practice sessions in during the last two weeks and I find my patience with myself isn't what it should be.  I think this is the universe saying to me, "Yes, this IS for you, but not for you RIGHT NOW."

I need to listen to this so I don't feel that piping is a "must do" but a "want to do".  So at this time I think I need to step away and try it again once things settle down.  I have all the tools, I know all the amazing people, I have your support, but right now I can't handle it.  Pipers and friends of pipers, being a unique group of unbelievable people, I know that you understand.

I'll be back, I assure you.  I hope that you will accept me when I'm ready to return.

Railroad Piper: I'm listening, always have been.  You make me smile every time I hear you.  Thank you.