Sometimes in life you have to listen to your surroundings. You may not want to, you may try to close the door, lean against it and cry out "I DON'T WANNA" like a child in order to lock out the rest of the world. There are times in life when you just can't do that.
I'm knee deep in one of those times right now.
My father is ill. Not to mince words, this is the kind of ill you don't recover from. This is not new information, but here lately every week there is something new to worry about. I have to do this from 650 miles away. The stress is showing it's signs - take for example 3 root canals in 8 days you may have read about.
I want to learn the bagpipes. I truly do. I also don't want to disappoint - myself, the people I've talked to about this journey or any of you. But right now, I don't think is the right time for me to do this. I find so much joy in the concept of the pipes and the vision of seeing me out in a field. Today as I packed up my things at work after an arduous day, I heard myself say, "I have to go to class tonight", not "I WANT to go to class tonight". Why do I have to go to class? Because I committed to, not because I've improved a stitch since the last class. I've gotten a number of practice sessions in during the last two weeks and I find my patience with myself isn't what it should be. I think this is the universe saying to me, "Yes, this IS for you, but not for you RIGHT NOW."
I need to listen to this so I don't feel that piping is a "must do" but a "want to do". So at this time I think I need to step away and try it again once things settle down. I have all the tools, I know all the amazing people, I have your support, but right now I can't handle it. Pipers and friends of pipers, being a unique group of unbelievable people, I know that you understand.
I'll be back, I assure you. I hope that you will accept me when I'm ready to return.
Railroad Piper: I'm listening, always have been. You make me smile every time I hear you. Thank you.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
And away we go!
Class tonight was good. Very good.
Honest truth? Today at work was grueling and driving home I couldn't imagine getting through the class awake. Now, here I sit an hour after being home and I don't know how I'm going to fall asleep.
Most of my time was spent with the head instructor who is part puppy dog and part drill sergeant. He reminds me constantly that there is nothing to be nervous about with this sweet smile. Then goes into, "look at your hands! What do you think you are doing with your pinkie?" followed by, "Don't look at your hands! You can't see them when you are on the bagpipe, don't get used to looking at your hands!" seamlessly flowing into, "Look at your fingers! They are pointing down and that's why you are squawking. Look at them! They are fingers, not claws!" At this point I wanted to bust out laughing but I can't because he's so serious.
On to the next exercise and half way through I paused to heave out a huge amount of unspent air and gulp in fresh. He looked at me with a smile and sweetly said, "Yes, breath, Cate. Very important. You can't practice the bag pipe if you are passed out on the floor with a concussion."
Like every other piper I have met in this cult, he is a remarkably kind man with a fantastic sense of humor and his heart on his shirtsleeves.
The configuration of the class is interesting - different people from the band come to help teach and they are paired up with different sets of students at different levels of skill. At one point the head instructor had to move to another student so I was paired with another teacher, a sweet tiny woman who was a music teacher and we talked about some questions I have from my musical past that puzzled me about the pipes. She cleared many of them up and then pointed out the obvious: women pipers have tiny fingers compared to the men, thus we have to be twice as accurate to cover the holes. Huh, interesting. I'd best order my copy of Rhythmic Fingerwork sooner than planned.
Tonight's emphasis was on grace note scales, triplets and the D throw.
The best quote of the night? From the head instructor: "Even with where you are right now, you are 99% better than the world population on playing the pipes. Where you are right now, each of us have been so it only gets better."
Perspective. There ya have it.
Honest truth? Today at work was grueling and driving home I couldn't imagine getting through the class awake. Now, here I sit an hour after being home and I don't know how I'm going to fall asleep.
Most of my time was spent with the head instructor who is part puppy dog and part drill sergeant. He reminds me constantly that there is nothing to be nervous about with this sweet smile. Then goes into, "look at your hands! What do you think you are doing with your pinkie?" followed by, "Don't look at your hands! You can't see them when you are on the bagpipe, don't get used to looking at your hands!" seamlessly flowing into, "Look at your fingers! They are pointing down and that's why you are squawking. Look at them! They are fingers, not claws!" At this point I wanted to bust out laughing but I can't because he's so serious.
On to the next exercise and half way through I paused to heave out a huge amount of unspent air and gulp in fresh. He looked at me with a smile and sweetly said, "Yes, breath, Cate. Very important. You can't practice the bag pipe if you are passed out on the floor with a concussion."
Like every other piper I have met in this cult, he is a remarkably kind man with a fantastic sense of humor and his heart on his shirtsleeves.
The configuration of the class is interesting - different people from the band come to help teach and they are paired up with different sets of students at different levels of skill. At one point the head instructor had to move to another student so I was paired with another teacher, a sweet tiny woman who was a music teacher and we talked about some questions I have from my musical past that puzzled me about the pipes. She cleared many of them up and then pointed out the obvious: women pipers have tiny fingers compared to the men, thus we have to be twice as accurate to cover the holes. Huh, interesting. I'd best order my copy of Rhythmic Fingerwork sooner than planned.
Tonight's emphasis was on grace note scales, triplets and the D throw.
The best quote of the night? From the head instructor: "Even with where you are right now, you are 99% better than the world population on playing the pipes. Where you are right now, each of us have been so it only gets better."
Perspective. There ya have it.
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